Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Got Me Thinking...

Some of the first comments we got from showing pictures and people coming to see Elizabeth were about how much she looks like Brock.  Of course, I too, was looking for traits that she has of mine, but it made me uncomfortable with how much it was talked about.  As Will and Casey sat in the hospital and at home with visitors, I felt as though they (more Will) were wondering who they looked like.  Will began to ask us who else has brown eyes or curly hair.   It was from strangers too, constantly asking where he got his curly hair from.  I don’t know how to answer either.  Do I say that his curly hair is from his birth father?  That comment would probably confuse Will as well as make the person asking feel like an idiot.  Do I lie and say Will got his curly hair from Brock?  Brock’s fair is curly, but that is not where Will got it from.  I don’t want to lie to anyone, especially in front of my children.  

We, by no means, are hiding his adoption from them, but we don’t want them to feel left out.  It has got to be hard to hear how a sibling looks like a parent each and every day, but they have not gotten comments like that.  So now, as time goes on, and both boys become more and more aware of what comments people make, I am more and more aware and sensitive of those comments.  They are, by no means, harmful, but rather pointless.  And because I am so aware of these comments, I get nervous every time one is said, making the whole situation awkward!  Ahhh!!!

1 comment:

  1. Such a good thought and I'm not sure what I'd say either. There is women in the Mom's club who has a boy and girl, both 4, only 2 months apart. One adopted, one not. People ask all the time if they are twins and she says no, Susie came to our family another way (or something along those lines). The kids know one was in her belly and the other was in Jamie's belly. They are open and the kids don't seem to care. It's very interesting. Especially since she was able to breast feed BOTH babies due to their closeness in age, it was like having twins!

    I'm sure you'll do the right thing, you and Brock are good parents and the boys know they have good parents.

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