Our Stay in New Jersey

The next few days were, needless to say, interesting.  We had a lot of time in our hotel and didn’t necessarily want to go many places in Newark with a newborn.  One night we drove about an hour to meet up with one of my husband’s coworkers who lived in New Jersey.  I remember talking with my husband about how nice it was to get out of the hotel and be in the car.  It didn’t matter how far we had to drive, we were going to see someone we knew!  We had a nice dinner out and Will was the perfect little gentleman.  

The next day we were meeting up with Will’s birth parents at TGI Fridays.  It was so nice to see them again.  The hospital was so emotional, so this was a nice way for us to get together in a place that was more “normal.”  We had a great time talking, taking pictures, and eating.  They seemed to be doing really well and were still feeling like their decision was what was best for Will.  It was so nice to see them again that we decided to get together with them again before we left.  

The next day we drove to meet another friend for dinner.  I actually met him for the first time at the March for Life, where we were first “active” in the adoption process, just a few weeks before.  He drove in from Pennsylvania, which was about 2 hours away, I think.  We were so grateful to have him come out to have dinner with us (in Princeton, which was AWESOME!).  Thanks Damian!!!  For anyone in the adoption process, I highly recommend trying to meet up with anyone within a few hours of where you will be.  It helped us so much to be “proud parents” and show off our baby to people we knew.  These friends have a special place in my heart, as they were the first to see our family of three!

Towards the end of the week, we met up again with Will’s birth parents.  They actually came to our hotel and we played board games in a common area.  At the time, and looking back, I find this weird.  Good, but weird.  It is strange to think that we were hanging out, playing board games, with the woman who recently gave birth to our son, and her boyfriend.  Also, anyone who has ever played board games with me is probably laughing at how difficult of a position this put me in.  I am extremely competitive and loud when playing board games.  Oh, and sweaty.  Yup, all things that I tried to hide while playing, but came out within 20 minutes of playing.  Thank goodness they found my behavior entertaining and not crazy!

The end of the night was hard.  This would be the last time they see Will.  There were a lot of tears and kisses, and eventually my husband drove them home.  I stayed back with Will and just held him.  I was so thankful that God put him into our lives, but it broke my heart knowing the pain they were feeling.  

Valentine's Day

We were set to sign the papers gaining all custody and parental rights on Valentine’s Day.  We got up early that morning and headed to the hospital to be with Will.  The social worker showed up around noon and we went into a room to sign the papers.  She said that everything had gone smoothly that morning with the birth parents and that they were confident in their decision to terminate all rights.  She went through all of the papers very thoroughly, but I barely remember any of it.  I was so nervous.  Do you get that feeling right before you pass out, where you can barely hear anything and everything seems to be moving in slow motion?  That is how I felt through the entire signing...

After signing the papers, I went into “mom mode” and made sure we had diapers, formula, signed papers to be released from the hospital, the car seat properly installed, and a million other things.  My husband, on the other hand, got hit with reality.  He was holding Will and BAWLING!  The nurses were teasing his to “get a grip” before he left the hospital.  At this time, I could see that all of the emotions that I seemed to be slowly going through in the entire “trying to get pregnant/adoption” process, had hit him all at once.  

I vividly remember getting into the car with Will.  We checked the car seat a few hundred times and I jumped into the passenger side as my husband drove us.  He asked me if I should be sitting in the backseat and I immediately thought to myself, “Oh my gosh!  Should I?  Is that what moms do?  Do I not have those ‘mommy instincts’ I should?”    Those emotions quickly turned into excitement.  This was the first time we had been with Will where he was in our legal custody.  It was official.  We were parents!!!

We drove ten miles under the speed limit back to our hotel and introduced him to the hotel staff.  We wanted so badly to “show off” our new son, so we ended up showing him to everyone in the hotel.  We befriended the concierges, cleaning, staff, cooks, etc. just to have someone to oogle at him as well.  Not having people we knew at the hotel with us was difficult.  We were 1000 miles away from any of our family or friends and had so many questions to ask and so many people we wanted him to meet.  The wait to come home was so hard.  

But, we tried to make the best of it.  However, things got a little uncomfortable as we sat in our hotel room, in the middle of Newark, on Valentine’s Day.  Let’s just say that our neighbors were not very considerate of us having a newborn.  Enough said?  Ugh...

My husband and I decided to celebrate our first night as official parents as well as Valentine’s Day, but were terrified to take Will out.  My husband went out to get us a nice dinner, which consisted of steak and lobster.  Things were perfect!  A beautiful son, an amazing husband, Valentine’s Day, and a wonderful dinner!  All we needed now was silverware.  No such luck.  We ate our steak and lobster like cavemen...picking it up with our hands and gnawing on it.  Oh well.