At the Hospital

The next couple of days were spent at the hospital.  We would get there early in the morning and spend our whole day (with the exception of dinner) there holding Will and getting to know more about his birth parents.  I felt like this was our chance to get to know everything we could about his birth parents, so we could share it with him whenever he was curious.  We got to meet and spend time with his birth father as well.  He was a bit more quiet and reserved, but also very sweet and loving.  The birth mother told us that he did not want to hold Will, for fear of becoming too attached.  However, on the third day, we came in to the birth mother’s room, and the birth father was holding Will, just staring at him.  It was so touching to see.  My husband and I were so happy that he decided to hold Will, as I would think that if he didn’t hold him, that would be a major point of regret.  By holding Will, the birth father seemed to be so much more comfortable and relaxed afterwards.  The nurses seemed to be getting more comfortable with us as well.  At first, the nurses were very standoffish towards us.  If it weren’t for his birth mom, I wouldn’t even have been able to get a wristband to get him from the nursery.  As time passed, the nurses became sweeter and sweeter.  They began to ask more questions about us and wanted to get to know us better.  We even got our own room, although it was more for storage.  We were surrounded by blood pressure monitors and breast pumps, but at least we got time alone with our son.  

Will’s birth mother was released from the hospital the night before we were to sign the papers agreeing to the adoption.  This was extremely emotional for everyone, but we had already made plans to see them again, so this wasn’t the official “goodbye.”  We actually drove her back home.  She told us she really wanted us to go back to the hospital to spend the rest of the night with Will.  That was our plan, but I thought it was so sweet that she did not want him to be alone.  

As we got to know them better, she told us more of why they chose adoption.  I kept trying to put myself in her position and all I could think was, “this baby is so perfect and I want him in my life.”  I kept thinking that she would have to change her mind...he was too incredible of a person to not have as her son.  Come to find out, she was thinking the same thing.  Luckily, she put him above her own wants and needs.  She had worked with a social worker and had seen so many families on welfare, dropping out of school, living in the ghetto, and struggling throughout their entire lives.  She told us that she did not want to raise a baby without being able to give him or her the absolute best in life.  More than anything, she wanted to have children, but at that point in her life, she was not able to provide the life she wanted to give a child.  The birth father knew this as well and also wanted the best for Will.  It was this conversation that truly made me understand why people choose adoption.  Love.