So here is where I am at...I just got home from dropping off my husband for yet another week long business trip to Europe. I was totally annoyed because Mother’s Day is tomorrow and I will be spending it without my mom (who is in Vegas) and without my husband. This also means I won’t be getting spoiled on a day to celebrate the hard work that I do every day! And let me tell you, I work my ass off raising my five kids. All I wanted was one day where I got a break from diapers, cleaning, cooking, whining, etc.
The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that a break is not what I wanted. I already have what I wanted, and oftentimes, I take that for granted. I have my kids. I have the honor of waking up every morning to five little faces calling me “mom.” I have a crazy life running them to all of their activities, cooking for them, cleaning up after them, and being so exhausted at the end of each day, that I go to bed right after they go to bed.
And I almost let myself feel down for the start of this very long week. I almost made today all about me. I almost forgot that today we celebrate Birthmothers. Theresa and Chelsa gave me my oldest two children. They loved and took care of two beautiful babies for 9 months, knowing that they wanted more for the babies than what they could give. Their love was so strong that they stood up to the questions of “why” and “how” from people they loved, the agony of loving and letting go, the physical pain of pregnancy and childbirth, the judgements of many people, and the lifelong question of “did they do the right thing.”
Children are gifts. This was hard for me to understand. While struggling with infertility, I was angry because I felt as though children were a right, not a gift. I wanted children, therefore I should have them. Slowly, however, this idea shifted. These birthmothers gave me a gift that I did not deserve, but wanted so badly. They gave me the children that I could not create for myself.
And so my gift for Mother’s Day is not going to be breakfast in bed, a relaxing massage, or a nice smelling candle. It will be waking up early to get everyone fed before church, frantically cleaning up the house trying to prepare for another school week, cooking dinner a few minutes after cleaning up from lunch, getting everyone bathed and off to bed. And for that, I will be thankful. Happy Birthmothers' Day!!!
“When life gives you a gift, receive it with all your heart.”
