God's Plan

Wow, it has been a LONG time since I have written.  There has also been a lot that has happened in that time.  We had our fourth baby, and he is absolutely amazing.  He is so sweet, funny, loving, and a perfect fit in our family.  That doesn't mean having four kids is easy though.  It has been extremely difficult, actually.  I make 16 full plates of food each day, prepare endless snacks, drive back and forth to school, go to doctor appointments, change diapers, etc.

I swore I would never complain about having to do any of these if I were blessed with children.  However, that did not last. I absolutely love being a mother, but it is hard.  There are plenty of days that I feel like the only thing I accomplished was standing in the kitchen, feeding everyone, cleaning up after them, and everyone survived the day.  I go to bed feeling exhausted and frustrated because I didn't accomplish more. And many times I complain the very next day that these things are not different.

So, when I found that I was pregnant with baby #5, I experienced every emotion possible in a very short amount of time. The most dominant emotions were definitely fear and anxiety though. I had no idea how I could ever be a good mother to 5 very little children when I could barely handle 4!  But, as time went on, my feelings changed as well as my perspective.  It was a dear friend who is wise beyond her years who helped me change my perspective.  

Please watch this short video so I make sense in the rest of this blog :)
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eOU0JhkHY3w

Instead of being tormented by the sound of the incessant needs and wants of my children, I chose to fall in love with it.  This is very hard to do, but each day I remind myself of this and find that it really does help.  I also keep in mind how different things were 6 years ago.  Six years ago I was coming home from work to a completely empty and quiet house, praying that it would someday be filled with noise.  I would prefer those sounds to be laughing and singing, but even whining and crying beats silence.

Baby #5 was nowhere in my plan.  I am thankful though, through all of my other life experiences, that I have learned that God's plan is so much better than anything I could ever come up with myself.  So instead of fearing having 5 children, I am so excited to meet our newest little one, knowing that he or she will be exactly what God planned for our family.

I could write pages and pages about this, but there is, once again, crying that I must attend to :)

For those of you who are wondering, how did she ever get so many children, check these out:

http://www.americanadoptions.com/  A link to how our first 2 blessings joined us

http://www.popepaulvi.com/  The doctor who helped us conceive 4 times